In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), the HOW skills are part of the Mindfulness module and help guide how to practice mindfulness effectively. These skills ensure that mindfulness is done in a way that fosters awareness and reduces judgment.
The HOW skills are:
Non-Judgmentally
Observe and describe without labeling things as "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong."
Let go of judgments about yourself, others, or situations.
Instead of saying, “This is terrible,” focus on facts like, “This is happening.”
Accept things as they are without criticizing them or yourself.
One-Mindfully
Practicing one-mindfully means fully focusing on one task at a time, immersing yourself in the present moment without distractions.
Focus your attention on one thing at a time.
Avoid multitasking or letting your mind wander to distractions.
Stay fully present with what you're doing, whether it’s washing dishes, eating food, having a conversation.
Gently bring your attention back when it drifts away.
Effectively
This skill emphasizes taking action in a way that works best for the situation, regardless of emotions or personal preferences, focusing on what will achieve the desired outcome effectively.
Do what works, even if it’s not what you want to do.
Focus on goals and outcomes rather than getting stuck in emotions, opinions, or stubbornness.
Set aside judgments or the need to be “right” in order to act in a way that serves your long-term well-being.
Here are some examples of one-mindful activities you can do:
Everyday Activities
Washing dishes: Feel the temperature of the water, notice the soap suds, and pay attention to each movement of your hands.
Eating a meal or snack: Notice the flavors, textures, and smells. Chew slowly and focus only on eating.
Brushing your teeth: Pay attention to the feeling of the brush, the taste of the toothpaste, and the motion of your hand. Try brushing your teeth with your non dominate hand.
Walking: Notice how your feet touch the ground, feel the rhythm of your steps, and observe your surroundings.
Folding laundry: Focus on the texture of the fabric, the colors, and the act of folding each item neatly.
Mindfulness Practices
Breathing exercises: Focus on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. Focus on the temperature of the air flowing in and out.
Meditation: Sit quietly and concentrate on a mantra, your breath, or a specific sound.
Stretching or yoga: Notice how your body feels with each stretch and movement.
Creative Activities
Drawing or coloring: Focus on the colors, shapes, and strokes you’re creating.
Writing: Write about what’s on your mind, or focus on journaling in detail about a single event or feeling.
Gardening: Pay attention to the feeling of the soil, the smell of plants, and the movement of your hands.
Self-Care Activities
Taking a shower or bath: Notice the water’s temperature, how it feels on your skin, and the scent of your soap or shampoo.
Listening to music: Fully immerse yourself in the rhythm, lyrics, and instruments without multitasking.
Drinking tea or coffee: Savor the warmth, taste, and aroma.
Nature-Based Activities
Watching a sunset: Observe the colors, the shifting light, and the feeling of the moment. Try imagining what it would take to create the colors you see.
Sitting outside: Notice the sounds of birds, the feel of the breeze, or the way the sun warms your skin. How would you describe the sounds or smells.
Interpersonal Activities
Having a conversation: Give your full attention to the person speaking, without planning what to say next or checking your phone.
Playing with a child or pet: Focus on their energy, movements, and responses without distractions. Notice the details of them. Look at them as if you are trying to memorize every detail.
The key to practicing one-mindfully is to give your full attention to the task or moment, gently redirecting your focus if your mind begins to wander.
Without judgment. It just is. You just are. Let it be.
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